Learnings from "pop-subculture"

What I learnt from the topic? Thousands of subcultures exist within the United States. Ethnic and racial groups share the language, food, and customs of their heritage. Other subcultures are united by shared experiences. Biker culture revolves around a dedication to motorcycles. Some subcultures are formed by members who possess traits or preferences that differ from the majority of a society’s population. The body modification community embraces aesthetic additions to the human body, such as tattoos, piercings, and certain forms of plastic surgery. In the United States, adolescents often form subcultures to develop a shared youth identity. Alcoholics Anonymous offers support to those suffering from alcoholism. But even as members of a subculture band together, they still identify with and participate in the larger society. Today I realized I am part of may subcultures such as: Body fitness, healthy eater, classical music fan, Peets coffee over Starbuck, ... I spent an hour to find out how did I take myself to these subcultures? probably, my parents encouragement, the influence of my close friends, lack of stable social life, failure in my pervious experiences in following a certain interest. 

Analyzing the essay:

In this essay I found few weakness in my writing skill:
1- Proofreading
2-Developing the idea towards the thesis statement instead of going off topic
3-Using a right quote at the right place
4-Asking question "So What?" at the end of each sentence

• Introduction: I used my interesting experience as a hook to make the reader my "follower"!
• Thesis statement: I think it is clear! this the most scary part of the essay! you better get done this part correctly after 3 quarter of English class!
• Body Paragraphs: Here is my weakness. I mostly get lost through remembering old memories, sometime I give to much unnecessary info to the reader to the poin I feel her/his frustration. for example 2 last body paragraphs before conclusion. 
• Conclusion: not bad. I think I followed my thesis statement carefully this time.  I like my quotes as well!! good job! Lol!
• Grammar and punctuations:OMG! after asking 2 unknown individuals at Peets Coffee still I see grammatical problems. such as: verb tense, missing articles! Embarrassed now!